Shoghik rushes to hug her son Aren. She says the boy is fearful that she will leave him

Shoghik’s husband snatched the boy away nine months ago, arguing that Shoghik was psychologically unbalanced.

Neither her husband nor his parents would let Shoghik back into the house for months. The young mother decided to go to court to restore her parental rights.

Shoghik Margaryan’s legal suit against her husband Artak got underway on October 17 at the Shirak Court of General Jurisdiction, Judge Haykoush Mikayelyan presiding.

She won her case and the court granted Shoghik the right to have custody and care of three year-old Aren.

Despite the court’s verdict, Shoghik’s in-laws wouldn’t return her son.

Reports in the press seemed to have had an impact on Artak’s parents and they saw the error of their ways. They invited Shoghik’s parents to their house on November 16 and amongst a number of witnesses they signed a document renouncing future care of Aren, their grandson.

On the same day, however, Artak Margaryan, the boy’s father, filed an appeal.

“My joy would have been complete if my former husband didn’t file that appeal,” Shoghik confesses. “Sure, the apprehension I felt in the past months has gone, but I am still fearful that they will taken Aren from me. Who knows what the appeals court will decide. I just hope the judge will take into account my maternal sensibilities and not make the wrong decision. I simply pray to god that they will not again separate me from my child.”

A new phase of life has begun for 24 year-old Shoghik. She needs to find work in order to take care of Aren. She married when only a second year student at the Figurative Arts and Design Department at the Pedagogical Institute.

“If I don’t find a job, I can still sell the fruits from our garden. We’ll get by,” Shoghik calmly says. “I am still young and have a professional education. My parents are here to support me as well. Let no one believe that I won’t be able to care for my son. That’s the argument used by my husband’s attorney in court. For now I will live in the village. Later on, I want to move to Gyumri,” Shoghik says.

Shoghik says that before winding up in this predicament she never fully realized to what extent the world is male dominated. She’s been fighting this system for the past nine months. Shoghik believes women are weak creatures but that they can rise to the occasion and fight back if need be. She says that her son Aren gives her the strength to beat the odds.

During my conversation with Shoghik, Aren was constantly at his mom’s side. She’s says that the boy has trouble sleeping at nights and that he’s always checking to see if she’s besides him.

“I want to take Aren to a psychologist. No matter how many times we tell him that we will stay together, he doesn’t believe it. To be frank, even I am afraid to go outside together. I have this fear that someone will come and snatch Aren away from me. The boy still has bad memories from the past and how his father undermined me in Aren’s presence. He even told Aren not to call me his mother. I really feel bad that Aren’s mental state is so unstable,” Shoghik says.

During our entire talk, Shoghik uttered not one negative word about her former husband and says she won’t speak ill of him in Aren’s presence.

“I’ve taught Aren the Lord’s Prayer so that every night before going to bed he can ask god not to take him away from his mother. I pray as well since there is another challenge awaiting me.”

Armineh Gmyur-Karapetyan, a psychologist and head of the Arevamanuk Foundation in Gyumri, says that oftentimes parents who divorce use the child as a weapon of revenge. She says such instances are a result of parental ignorance.

“Sadly, at the moment no one is thinking about the child’s sensitive inner state of mind and what consequences this hostile give and take will have on the child. The drive for revenge often pushes the needs of the child to the background even though the child is the main object of the battle,” says the psychologist.

Karapetyan says that isn’t enough for two people to say they love each other and then marry. Even before marrying the couple must ask why they are getting married and the motivation behind it.

“To try to take Aren away from Shoghik would be inhumane. Shoghik doesn’t want to deprive the father of the right to see his boy. The mother will make any concession just as long as Aren stays with her. I hope that Artak, the father, will see the situation more realistically. I can’t say how it will all end but the child mustn’t be used as a toll for revenge.”