Sunday, 23 September

Commentary: Let Them Burn Cow Dung!

Humanity has existed from time immemorial and during the past 20,000-30,000 years gas was never burnt. Now look at what’s happening. People in Armenia are all emotional; they want to burn gas. Go to your homes and burn cow dung." The above statement was made by RoA MP Vardan Bostanjyan during a press conference after it was declared that the price of gas would be going up.

After years of serving in the Armenian National Assembly, it would appear that MP Bostanjyan, an economist by profession has hit upon the winning formula – burn dung. He is one of the MP’s representing those who are ready to burn dung. If you voted for the man, then get ready to burn dung. Tomorrow you just might hear him say – why do you need to eat meat? Eat bread instead. Or – it’s spring. There’s grass growing in the meadows. Eat grass.

The day after another MP might announce – Why do you need to wear clothes. Cover your privates with a fig leaf and walk the streets. The list of possible thing to do without is endless – the internet, the telephone...

This is the advice given by our parliamentarians, today, tomorrow and the day after. For you see, they don’t have to work to earn a living and put food on the table. They really don’t have a clue about how you and I and average citizens in Armenia really live. They live on a different plane entirely, removed from us mortals.

They have already started to embellish the gates of hell with gold inlay, to tile the floors and to build jacuzzis there. Why? Because they’ve already commanded all the lofty and valuable heights here, in this world.

The minister of economy claimed last week that Armenia had weathered the financial crisis with honor. I say that the crisis will strike the heaviest blow against Armenia in three months. If the minister wants to know why I’m convinced of this, I can give him my calculations.

But the minister believes we’ve survived the crisis and are pulling free of its clutches. Why? Because he came across an article somewhere on the internet, read it, and then made the assumption that we made it through and with dignity.

How convenient. However, perhaps the time has come to pull our heads out of the internet and plant our feet back in the real world. We can only hope that the road ahead doesn’t lead us to another dung heap.

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